


The Crazy Little Things Called Faith And Destiny

by Kaimu



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-11-17 17:31:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaimu/pseuds/Kaimu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started with a letter...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Adam was sitting at a little desk in his hotelroom, staring out of the window, pen and paper in front of him, ready to write a letter. He had thought and thought about doing this or not, but finally he decided to do it... He had to put his feelings on paper, so it would take away a little of the thoughts in his head... He just wanted to let him know how he really felt, how he still felt, even after the hectic year that had gone by in which they had barely seen eachother, he still had the right to know how Adam felt about him, and Adam had the right to say it to him. Even if it would turn both of their worlds upside down, this was the right thing to do.   
That's when he started writing the letter... 

Dear Kris, 

( Yeah, I know it sounds too formal but I don't know anything better at the moment, and 'Hey Kris' sounds to casual for what I'm about to write in this letter, so let's keep it at this formal 'Dear Kris' ok? Ofcourse you are ok with it, you always agree with me on these things... ) 

I'm writing you this letter 'cause I need to get these things of my mind. I know we haven't seen eachother for months now and we mostly talked to eachother through textmessages, but I can't stop thinking about you...   
Everytime I hear you on the radio or see you on television, I put the volume up so I don't miss anything you say. You became such a big star and I'm so proud of you! Sure, I'm doing pretty well too, but let's not talk about me this time, I wanna talk about you for a change.   
No matter how many times I see you doing an interview you still seem nervous, like it's the first time you're doing it? over and over again. By 'it' I mean the interview and not something else you little pervert! Haha, just kidding, I know you know what I meant but I still haven't learned to stop teasing you. But you love it, I know you do...   
Really Kris, you've always amazed me... How you always hugged me on the stage, not caring at all that there were millions of people watching, you just pulled me even closer... Even when those damn pictures of me and Brad came out, you weren't afraid to give me some affection, like a hand or my shoulder or the usual hugs we gave eachother. I must say I was afraid at first... I really was afraid of how you would react to those pictures and being pushed with your nose on the fact that I was, well still am, gay... But you didn't care about it at all 'cause you said " Gay or straight what does it matter? You're an amazing guy and my best friend here on American Idol, that's all that matters to me " You don't know how much that means to me... You're the coolest, most open minded guy I ever met! and I love you...   
There, I said it, I.LOVE.YOU...   
I know I've said it lots of times, you even said it to me lots of times too, but this time... This time those 3 words have a whole different meaning for me than they had back then.   
Back then it were just words, something you say 'cause you're friends and respect eachother, nothing more nothing less...   
But now?   
Now those 3 words say everything that has been hiding inside my heart for so long now... What I feel, Really feel, for you is so much more than friendship... It goes deeper, far deeper than any other feeling of love I've ever had...   
You're a special guy Kris Allen, you really are...   
You may not be aware of it, but everyone else is... You're such a talented guy, playing the guitar and the piano, and then that voice... My God, you sing like an angel! I know I know, I'm going all fan-girly on you right now and that's just wrong!   
But I do mean it, everytime I hear you sing my heart skips a beat...   
Oh man, why am I even telling you all this? I mean, you're married... And if your wife would be like a total bitch, which is not, then I wouldn't feel so bad by telling you this... But now...   
I love Katy, I really do and I don't want to be a homewrecker...   
But I can't change what I feel for you...   
You wanna know why I broke up with Drake?   
I broke up with him 'cause I thought it wasn't fair to him that I had feelings for you while he was my boyfriend... I didn't wanna put him through too much pain, so I broke up with him. I think he knows why... He's a smart guy and he knows me so it was pretty obvious for him I guess...   
Look, I'm gonna leave it at this 'cause I've probably done enough damage by now... I'm sorry...I really am... 

All my love, and even more... 

Adam 

~~ 

Adam put the letter into an enveloppe and wrote down Kris address, then he put it in the top drawer of the desk. He didn't know if he would post it, probably not...   
He could just leave it there and maybe someone else would find it, probably someone of the cleaning staff of the hotel and throw it away and Kris would never have the chance of reading it... Maybe that was the best thing for both of them... Atleast he did write it down so he felt a little more relaxed, relaxed enough to go to bed and sleep.   
He was hoping to wake up the next morning and to forget about the letter, to forget about Kris and all his feelings for him... They would just be thrown away, together with that letter...   
If it only was that simple... He would've written that letter months ago and it would've been laying on some refuse-dump by now...   
Oh well, life wasn't that simple... Certainly not if your name is Adam Lambert...


	2. Chapter 2

When Kris came home one evening he opened the mailbox and saw that Katy hadn't emptied it yet, he took out the mail and went inside. Katy wasn't home yet like she had told him,so he put down his guitar and his bag and placed himself on the couch to go through the mail. Most of them were bills or advertisement leaflets , until one enveloppe caught his attention. It wasn't really the enveloppe, but it was the handwriting that caught his eye... He knew from who this letter came...  
He stood up and put the rest of the mail on the table, then he went into his music/study room with that one letter. He knew he wouldn't be disturbed there while he read that letter 'cause Katy never came in without knocking. This was the room where he worked on new songs and played the piano 'cause he could play his guitar anywhere but this was the only place where he could play the piano.   
He placed himself at his desk and opened the letter...  
He smiled as he read the first lines of the letter but his laugh fell when he came to the middle... Adam said he loved him...   
Sure he had said it a thousand times before and so did Kris, but this time it was different...   
Adam was pouring his heart out in this letter and it hurt... It hurt Kris so bad...   
Adam was Adam, Kris' best friend, the only one who could read Kris like an open book and the other way around,but this... This wasn't what he had expected...   
Sure he knew Adam had this so called 'crush' on him during American Idol but they had made jokes of it and laughed it away. A crush was like nothing, it was non-threatening, but this... This was so much more...  
That wasn't what hurt him though...  
What hurt him was that he felt exactly the same for him... He was in love with Adam...   
He had tried to forget him, tried to ignore his feelings for him for so long now, and now this letter came and everything was back...  
Tears were rolling down his cheeks without him even realizing it...  
Adam was hurt, and it was all his fault... Why did he have to be married to Katy? Why did he have to love her and him at the same time?   
He couldn't find the answers...

~~

 

he didn't know for how long he had been crying and was just caught up in his thoughts until someone knocked on the door, he quickly put the letter in one of the drawers of his desk

" Just a minute! " Kris wiped away his tears and stood up to open the door

" Hey honey! ' Katy threw her arms around Kris' neck and kissed him passionately, she noticed Kris wasn't as enthousiastic in kissing her back as other times so she pulled back and looked a little confused at him " What's wrong? " 

" Nothing... " Kris quickly turns his eyes to the ground but it's too late, Katy saw how red and swollen they are

" Kris... " she asks softly " Have you been crying? "

" No... " Kris' voice sounds shaky and he knows Katy can tell he's lying

" Don't lie to me! " Katy lifts Kris head up and makes him look at her, straight in her eyes " What's going on? Why have you been crying? "

" It's nothing really, just had a bad day at rehearsal and I'm tired, more like exhausted really... That's all... " he looks back into Katy's eyes and tries to hide the truth, the real truth, about why he's been crying

" Hmm... " Katy still doesn't believe Kris, but hey, she'll figure it out sooner or later... She smiled at Kris " I just came to tell you that dinner's ready. It's just some chinese take-out 'cause I didn't really feel like cooking this evening... I hope you don't mind? "

" No, that's just fine sweetie " Kris smiled back at her and kissed her on the forehead

~~

When dinner was done and he had helped Katy with doing the dishes, Kris went back to his music/study room and went to stand by the window. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket, opened it and took a picture out of it. He softly stroked his finger over the picture, over the face of the most important person in the world to him. No, it wasn't a picture of Katy...  
He looked out of the window, still stroking his finger over that beautiful face

" Adam... " Kris whispered softly into the nothingness that became his music room 

Tears fell down again and there was nothing he could do to stop them...  
He was hurt 'cause Adam was hurt... And No One, not even Katy, could sheer him up right now...


	3. Chapter 3

When Kris woke up next morning he had barely slept, but he had come to a conclusion... He had to talk to Adam.   
It was his day off but Katy still had to go to work so when she left the house he went back to the musicroom and took Adam's letter out of the drawer. He read the letter again and again and it still made him cry... It was time to take some action!   
He grabbed his ceelphone and dialed the oh-so-familiar number... He didn't have to wait long 'til that familiar voice answered sounding really happy

" Kris! " Adam smiled, he knew Kris couldn't see it but he was sure he would hear the happy tone in his voice " What's up man? Haven't heard from you for a while... "

" Hey Adam... " Kris tried to make his voice sound less shaky but he knew Adam probably heard it

" Kris? " Adam's voice sounded worried " Is something wrong? Have... Have you been crying? "

Kris shook his head a little, Adam really knew him way too well, he could even tell Kris had been crying just by hearing him on the phone, That was Adam Lambert for you... 

" Kris..." Adam didn't get a reaction from Kris and got more worried " Kris, talk to me...Please... "

" Uh " Kris noticed he still hadn't said anything except the 'Hey Adam' and shook his head to stay focused to whatever conversation he was having with Adam " Sorry, what did you say? "

" I asked you if you've been crying... " 

" No, I'm fine... Just didn't sleep that much " that wasn't a complete lie, thought Kris, 'cause he had been awake for the most of the night

" Hmmm... " Adam wasn't convinced, he was sure he heard tears in Kris' voice, but if Kris didn't wanna talk than he wasn't going to push him " Why the sudden call? "

That's when it came back to Kris why he had called Adam " Oh yeah, I wanted to ask if you have time today to have dinner or lunch with me? I wanna talk about something, and I can't do it over the phone " 

" I can't get off for lunch, but I can have dinner with you...Let's say around 19:00 pm? At our usual spot? "

" Sure, I'll see you tonight then " 

" See ya tonight, bye! "

Kris hang up the phone. That was uhm, weird... They had talked to each other like they barely knew eachother... So formal, so cold... It wasn't like them at all...  
But what did he have to say?   
'Hey Adam, I've got your letter and guess what,, I love you too!' ?  
No... That would've been ridiculous and stupid...  
Besides Adam didn't sound nervous or something to hear Kris, like Kris expected him to be after sending that letter, he knew he would be nervous if he was in Adam's place  
Maybe Adam had forgotten about the letter... If that was even possible?   
Oh well, he would see him tonight and everything would be clear, atleast he hoped it would be...

~~

Kris was sitting in the restaurant that evening, Adam was, as usual, running late so Kris had already ordered something to drink. After 10 minutes he saw Adam come in and he stood up and waved at him, Adam smiled brightly and walked up to him. When he came at Kris' table he opened his arms and Kris wrapped his arms around him, burrying his face into his chest like he always did. This time though, it seemed to Adam that Kris was holding him tighter and longer than he usually did, he didn't mind though... He just let his head rest on Kris' and pulled him as close as he could. When they pulled away they saw everyone looking at them but they didn't care, they just smiled at those people and took their seats at the table

" It's been a while... " Adam said a little nervously 

" Yeah, it has... " Kris rubbed with his hand at the back of his neck, he was nervous too

Adam smiled, Kris was so cute when he got nervous " You wanted to talk to me about something? " 

Kris put his hand back down an grabbed in his pocket to grab the letter, he showed it to him " This is what I wanted to talk about... " 

Adam's eyes widened in pure shock... No... This couldn't be?! Kris had gotten his letter?!? Oh no... He was doomned... He looked down at the table and felt himself pinch himself in his own arm, he was dreaming... This had to be a nightmare and he would wake up any minute now and everything would be ok...

"Adam?" Kris leaned a little closer to Adam " Are you ok? You don't look so good all of a sudden... " 

" Uh, I... " Adam choked on his words " I'm sorry... "

Kris cocked an eyebrow " Sorry for what? "

" I... I didn't send that letter to you, I just- " Adam had to break his sentence of 'cause the waiter came over to their table to take their orders, when the waiter was gone he continued " I just left it in a hotelroom a few weeks ago, I thought someone would have thrown it away by now... " 

" Then you shouldn't have written my address on the envelope " 

" Yeah, I think I made a mistake with that... " 

Kris moved back, away from Adam... So that's what this letter was to him, a mistake... " Oh, I see... " Now it was Kris' turn to stare at the table

" See what? " Adam didn't like that tone in Kris' voice, it sounded hurt and vulnerable

" That this is all a mistake to you... " Kris voice was barely hearable, he stood up from his chair, ready to leave before he had even eaten his dinner " I'm sorry I made you come out here, that was my mistake I guess... "

Adam quickly stood up too and grabbed Kris' hand " Kris, wait! This isn't what I meant! It's just... I can't... " Adam swallowed " I don't even know why I wrote you that letter in the first place... "

Kris pulled his hand out of Adam's furiously " Enough Adam! You think you've done some damage with that letter? Well you did a lot more damage now... " He put Adam's letter back in his pocket and pulled another letter out of his other pocket and shoved it in Adam's hand " Here, I wrote one back... Not that it matters 'cause it was all a mistake to you... " he grabbed his coat off his chair and ran out of the restaurant, not once looking back

Adam just stared at the door where Kris had run out a few minutes ago, he could feel all the people staring at him... 

" Humhum... " the waiter coughed to get Adam's attention " Do you still want your food sir? " 

" No thank you... I'll pay for it though, for both of us... " Adam took out his wallet and the waiter went back with the plates and came back with the bill, Adam paid it and walked out of the restaurant, still feeling the stares of all the people on his back

This wasn't how he had planned for this to go, neither of them had...   
Why did someone post that letter to Kris? And why did Kris react so weird about it?   
Oh well... Life sucked when your name was Adam Lambert...


	4. Chapter 4

A week went by and Adam still hadn't heard anything from Kris, or the other way around. Adam still hadn't read Kris' letter either, he just couldn't... He was too scared of what he would read...   
One evening though, when he was playing with the letter again, he pulled himself together and opened it, he took a long breath and started reading 

Dear Adam, 

( Hey, if you can be formal then so can I! ) 

I'm writing you this letter back 'cause I need to get some stuff off my mind too...   
It's true, we haven't seen eachother much and textmessages are the only things we seem to communicate with lately. I hope it will change though 'cause I miss you...   
My volume is always up on the loudest when you're on the radio or on the TV. It bugs Katy a bit but I don't care, she'll have to deal with it...   
If I became a big star, then what became of you? You're not just 'doing pretty well', you're huge! You're the biggest, most succesful, GlamRockstar the world has ever known! And don't you dare to deny it! Or I'll send every Kradam fan at you to make that clear, and believe me, there are Many Kradam fans out there... So I would start running and find a place to hide yourself!   
I know I'm still a bit nervous when they interview me, and I still can't hide it away, certainly not for you...You know me too well...   
But hey, who are you calling a little pervert? If I was still a kid I would stick my tongue out at you and say 'takes one to know one!' and because I have nothing better to say I'll say it again as a grown-up now : takes one to know one!   
I know you're rolling your eyes right now...   
As much as you love to tease me ( and yes, I do love that ), I love to tease you too! And boy, do you love that!   
I'm really not that amazing as you think I am... I'm just me, Kris Allen, the shy little boy next door from the dirty south who sings a little and can play 2 instruments.   
You, Adam Lambert, are the most amazing person I've ever met... So sweet, so out-going, so honest, so true to yourself no matter what anyone else might say or think, ... ( I can still keep going but that 'll take too long, so I'll leave it at this )   
But above all, you are my best friend! The best friend who's always been there for me, who still texts me on my birthday, even if he's busy as hell, he still makes time for that. I love you for that, and not only for that, I just love you for everything you are...   
There, I've said it too, I.LOVE.YOU...   
And how weird it may sound, these 3 words have a different meaning for me now too... I know back then it was just as friends that we said it to eachother, but I can no longer hide that there's more to it... I'm falling,oh hell, I already fell in love with you months ago. I just tried to ignore those feelings for Katy's sake... She's the sweetest girl I've ever met and it was only natural for us that we would marry one day, and so we did.   
But you know Adam, you're supposed to spend and share the most exciting, the most life-changig experience with your partner and I didn't do that with her, I did that with you...   
American Idol was the most life-changing thing in my life, and the whole world knows I've always had you by my side during that show, so I've shared that experience with you and I can't forget that...   
It's just that, I know I'll have to make a choice one day and I can't do that right now...   
I love you both and the thought of having to hurt one of you is tearing me apart...   
Please, can you give me more time?   
I know you don't want to be a homewrecker, but this is completely my own choice to make and if I choose you than none of it is your fault! I just want you to know that ok?   
If I choose Katy then I hope we could still be friends... You changed my life Adam, and I don't wanna lose you...   
I'm sorry to hear that about Drake, I really didn't know that I was mainly the reason that you two broke up... But I think you did the right thing...   
I'm not saying this for my own benefit! It just wouldn't be fair to him if you kept leading him on while you also have feelings for me. But why am I even telling you this? You already know it...   
Just one more thing... You didn't do any damage, the damage was already made by myself... 

All my love back at you, 

Kris 

~~ 

Adam was crying by the end of the letter...That was Kris Allen for you, he never seems to stop surprising people, especially Adam...   
Adam wiped away his tears and grabbed his cellphone, he had to text Kris 

' I'm such a fool... ' It was short but he knew Kris would understand... 

' Tell me someting I didn't know already... Read my letter? ' was the reply and Adam couldn't help but smile a little 

' Yeah,.. I wanna see you... When do you have time? If you still want to see me too ofcourse... ' he was a little scared of the answer so he waited nervously for Kris' reply which came after 2 minutes 

' Don't be ridiculous,ofcourse I still want to see you. I can come over to your place this evening? If that's ok with you... ' 

Adam's heart did a little back-flip, Kris wanted to come over tonight! omg, omg OMG!!! Adam was freaking out... Then he shook his head to get everything under control again and to reply at Kris ' It's fine, you can come over. I'm home the whole evening... ' 

' Ok, I'll see you tonight then. Going to rehearsal now, I'll come over right after that ' 

Adam knew he didn't have to reply anymore so he put his cellphone back down. Then he went to the bathroom to take a shower and put some new clothes on. He just wanted to look good for Kris 'cause he deserved it. And who knew what the night would bring...   
Oh no Adam, don't go there! He isn't ready... He would just go home to Katy this evening, there's no way Kris would spend the night at his place!   
Although Adam would really like that... He knew that wouldn't happen... Not yet...


	5. Chapter 5

Adam was pacing around his house while waiting for Kris to arrive. He didn't know what to expect of it, he just knew he and Kris needed to talk and that's what they were going to do.   
After another painful 20 minutes of pacing around his house, finally he heard a car stopping at his door, he almost ran to the door to open it.   
Kris was just stepping out of his car when Adam had opened the door for him already and was leaning in te doorway, Kris looked at him and smiled

" Someone looks happy to see me... " Kris said happily while he locked his car and walked up to Adam

" Oh yeah? Who? " Adam teased and Kris slapped him on the arm " Alright,alright, I'm happy to see you, I admit it " he smiled at Kris and gestured him to come inside

Kris smiled back and walked together with Adam to the livingroom, he took a look around " Wow Adam, you didn't have to clean your usual mess up for me " now it was Kris' time to tease Adam

" Ha ha, very funny " Adam felt himself blush a little " I was nervous ok... I didn't know what to expect, I still don't know... But what I do know is that I'm glad that you're here and that we can talk " 

" I don't know what to expect either if that comforts you a little... I was just glad you texted me, after a week of silence between us, and that you wanted to see me... So I thought, why not now? "

Adam shuffled his feet a little nervously " You want something to drink? "

" A beer's fine "

" Ok, go have a seat while I'm gonna get our beers " he gestured to the couch and walked to the kitchen to get the beers

Kris settled himself on the couch, after a few minutes Adam came back from the kitchen with the two beers and settled himself next to Kris, giving him his beer.  
Then it became silent between them... Neither of them knew what to say or where to start...   
Then Kris broke the silence

" So.... "

" So.... " Adam replied looking curiously at Kris

Kris cleared his throat 'cause it was a little sore " So uhm, you read my letter... "

" Yes I did... The least I can say is that I was really touched and really surprised by it "

" I can imagine... It was hard for me to write it down, 'cause sure, those feelings have been stuck up in my mind for months, but to see it written down on paper was really confronting me with my true feelings for you and that was weird... But I knew I had to do it 'cause I would never have the guts to tell it to your face " 

" Yeah, I know the feeling... " Adam smiled shyly at Kris " I'm glad you did though... I really wanted to hug you after I read it..."

Kris put his beer on the table and turned to face Adam " Why don't you hug me now then? " 

Adam put his beer down too and wrapped his arms around Kris who gladly burried his face into his chest, wrapping his arms around Adam while he did that.  
When they pulled away the tension between them was gone and they started chatting away about everything and nothing at all. They wre really having fun until Adam got a litlle more serious again

" I still think it's weird sometimes that we're getting along so well, I mean... We are so different! and yet we can talk about everything with eachother. and I never get bored of you either, you're something special Kris, you really are... " 

" Yeah, I know what you mean, I think it's weird sometimes too... They say opposites attract and I think we're the real life proof of that. I'm not the special one Adam, you are... "

Adam smiled lovingly at Kris, that's what Kris always does, putting himself down for the benefits of others " Let's just say we're both special... " 

Kris smiled back " I think I can live with that... " he moved closer to Adam who wrapped his arms around him again, Kris sighed happily

~~

Kris stayed cuddled up in Adam's arms for the rest of the evening, just talking and enjoying eachothers presence until Kris looked at his watch and realised it was after midnight already

" Shit! I told Katy I wouldn't be home late and it's after midnight already " He looked over at Adam and saw a flash of hurt in his eyes, sure, he tried to hide it away as fast as he could but Kris saw it anyway 

" Where did you told her you were? "

" I uhm... I told her I was over at Cale's... " there was that look of hurt again, damn it! " You know I couldn't tell her the truth, what if she suspects something? You know I can't do this right now I- "

Adam cut him off by pulling him into another hug " It's okay Kris, you did the right thing... " he stroked through Kris' hair as he burried his face into Adam's chest once again

Kris pulled away after a few minutes and looked in Adam's eyes " I don't wanna go... " 

Adam's eyes got teared up as he saw that pleading look in Kris' eyes " Then stay... Just text Katy that you're staying over at Cale's 'cause it's too late to drive home. You can sleep in my bed, I'll sleep on the couch "

Kris shook his head " No, you stay in your bed, I'll sleep on the couch,I'm a much better sleeper then you anyway. I'll text Katy right away " he pulled out his cellphone ans started typing the text but suddenly looked back up at Adam " Thank you... "

" You're welcome... " Adam took his beer again and took a sip as he watched Kris texting Katy with a small smile on his face, Adam knew he smiled because of him and not because of Katy, and that thought made him smile too

~~

Adam had given Kris some sheets and pillows to make himself more comfortable on the couch and wished him goodnight before he went to bed.  
Adam was tossing and turning in his bed, he just couldn't get to sleep. Kris was right, he was a bad sleeper, but now it was even worse... He didn't know why though... The talk with Kris went really well, he was even staying over for the night, on the couch... Ah, that's what it was... Adam had wanted,had Hoped, Kris would sleep in his bed, together with him, but he hadn't dared to ask him... And now it was too late...  
Suddenly he heard footsteps and his door got opened, he turned around and pulled his head off of his pillow, he saw Kris standing in the doorway, looking at him nervously, fidgetting with his fingers in his shirt 

" Kris? " Adam asked softly " What's wrong? "

" Nothing " Kris smiled nervously " I couldn't sleep and I thought... " Kris started blushing

" You thought what? " Adam felt his mouth curl up into a smile, Kris was so fucking cute when he got all that nervous and got that blush on his cheeks

" I thought that,maybe, I could sleep in your bed? "

" And make me sleep on that couch? Oh, very sweet of you Kris " Adam couldn't help but to tease

Kris sighed " No, you can stay in bed too... If it's ok with you that I'm laying next to you? " 

Adam's face lightened up and that spark came in his eyes, he pulled the sheets up with one hand " Come on, get in here!" 

Kris' face lightened up too and he happily jumped into bed, laying as close as he could against Adam so when Adam's arm went down to pull the sheets over him, Adam's arm was draped over Kris. Adam wanted to pull his arm away but Kris stopped him

" No, leave your arm there... " he saw Adam looking questioningly at him " It's just that... I'm always the one who holds Katy in my arms at night to make her feel safe and protected. Now, for once, I want to be the one that feels safe and protected... "

Adam pulled Kris even closer, stroking his thumb on the back of Kris' neck " I'll keep you safe and protected whenever you want... Don't worry" he whispered and he felt Kris' smile into his chest

Kris stroked with his hand up and down Adam's back, feeling him shiver slightly at the touch of Kris' hands on his bare skin. He pulled his head out of Adam's chest and looked up at him meeting Adam's eyes almost instantly 'cause he was looking down at him.

Adam couldn't resist anymore, he moved his hand from the back of Kris' neck to his face and cupped his cheek, stroking it with his thumb " Kris... Can I do something? "he looked intently into Kris' eyes

" Hmm? " Kris mumbled, loking questioningly back in those beautiful blue-grey eyes " What do you wanna do? "

" I wanna kiss you goodnight... I always wanted to do that,and now... Now seems like the perfect time and I can't hold back any longer... Please, just once? " Adam slowly leaned closer to Kris' face

Kris smiled up at Adam " You had me at ' I wanna kiss you goodnight'... " he lifted his head up to meet Adam's

Adam's lips met Kris' in a sweet soft kiss, which suddenly grew wilder as tongues came out and were exploring eachothers mouths. Adam tugged at Kris' shirt and Kris pulled it off, reluctantly breaking the kiss for a moment to do so, but then they started kissing again, putting every feeling they had at that moment into their kisses.Adam pushed Kris a little so he was laying on his back, Adam placed himself on top of him.Adam pulled away and started to kiss Kris' collarbone, slowly moving down over his chest to his belly, he stopped at the belt of Kris' boxers when he heard soft sobs... He quickly moved back up again to look at Kris and he saw tears rolling down his cheeks, a desperate look in his eyes

" Shit " Adam breathed " Shit Kris, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry! " Adam pushed himself off of Kris and lay on his side, facing Kris, he turned Kris over to face him and pulled him into his chest " I'm sorry, I went too far... I just got carried away and... and I don't even know what to say! Please forgive me? I didn't want this to happen, I really didn't... " Adam was close to crying now too " Please, don't cry... I don't want you to cry baby... I'm so sorry... " 

When Kris felt he had his tears under control again he looked up at Adam and saw the tears in his eyes, the last thing he wanted was to see Adam cry "Adam, it's ok... It's just that I want this, I want this so bad... But I can't... Katy... Ugh...You know what I'm gonna say, so I'm not gonna say it, it's only gonna hurt you more and I don't wanna hurt you Adam... " he pushed himself up a little and gave a kiss on Adam's cheek " Let's just go to sleep,we'll talk about this later... " 

Adam just nodded, not able to speak anymore.   
Kris made himself comfortable in Adam's arms, head against his chest and after a few minute he fell asleep.  
Adam didn't, he just kept laying there looking down at the beautiful man wrapped up in his arms. After a while he closed his eyes and also fell asleep...

~~

They didn't talk about what happened that nigh the next morning... Adam had tried to, but Kris didn't want to and Adam didn't want to push him, so they had to talk about it some other time...  
Kris had to leave at noon 'cause he had a show in the evening and he had a rehearsal planned in the afternoon with his band. Adam had a busy day ahead of him too, at the recording studio for his next album.   
When Kris was ready to leave and stood in the hallway in front of the door, Adam stopped him from opening it

" Hey Kris " Adam walked up to Kris

Kris turned around and looked at Adam " Yeah? "

" I just wanted to say... " he hesitated for a moment but then pulled himself together " Whatever choice you make, I know it's gonna be the right one... I'll give you all the time you need, and until then, I'm just gonna keep on loving you and keep hoping you'll choose me... You and I are gonna be friends for life, no matter what or who you choose,'cause I can't imagine my life without you anymore... " 

Kris felt the tears coming up " You're so gonna make me cry now " he held out his hands and Adam took them in his

Adam looked straight into Kris' eyes "Oh, I am gonna cry... The minute you walk out that door, I'm gonna cry and feel bad 'cause it's probably gonna be a while until I'm gonna see you again, but She will still be able to see you and be with you... I'm fucking jealous... I don't wanna be jealous, but I am... " 

Kris wrapped his arms around Adam " Now I don't wanna leave you... " he whispered, his voice shaking

Adam pulled away " You'll have to... " he took Kris' hand, opened the door and Kris walked out , letting go of Adam's hand, but he turned around to look at him.  
Adam put two fingers to his mouth and then pressed them softly against Kris' lips... He smiled at Kris and closed the door.   
He turned around with his back against the door and let him slid down to the floor, tears roling down his face...  
At that same moment Kris was still standing on the other side of that door, one hand pressed against the door as if he could still feel Adam through it...  
God did he wanted to go back in... But he knew he couldn't, 'cause if he did, he would never leave that house ever again...


	6. Chapter 6

5 months had gone by for Kris and Adam without seeing eachother. They were too busy with their tour, making new songs for their next album,rehearsals,... It was just not possible for them to make time to see eachother. They did send texts ofcourse, like they always did, the usual stuff about how their show went, when they came up with a new song,... But now the texts always ended with ' I miss you ' and the other one's reply always contained ' Miss you too ' at the end of the text.  
When Adam kissed Tommy and it got spread around the world by youtube and people got talking, he knew he had to text Kris...   
' The kiss didn't mean anything,Tommy's not my boyfriend ' he knew Kris would know what he was talking about without having to explain it  
' I already thought so, I know you too well mister Lambert... Miss you ' Adam smiled brightly as he read that reply  
' Yes you do mister Allen, and I love it... Miss you too '   
He didn't get a reply anymore so he put his cellphone back in his pocket, reassured that Kris wasn't mad at him and didn't believe in all the gossip that was spread around about him and Tommy. Ofcourse Tommy was a friend, a good friend, of Adam but nothing more. Adam was too much in love with Kris... 

One day they both recieved a phonecall from Matt, inviting them to his birthday party. Matt told them they Had to come 'cause he wanted it to be a little 'Idol reunion party' too The party would be next month and both Adam and Kris had managed to get that day off.   
When Adam had his cellphone in his hand already to text Kris, his phone buzzed and saw Kris had been faster than him  
' Please tell me you can come to Matt's birthdayparty ' Adam smiled, should he tease him and tell him he can't? No, that would be too mean...  
' Sure I can, I don't wanna miss this one chance of seeing you again. Miss you too much...'  
' You made my day! Can't wait to see you again... Miss you even more '   
' Can't wait either... That's not possible! '   
" Oh, believe me, it is... ' and for some reason, Adam believed that...

~~

At the party : 

Adam was already at the party, talking with Matt, Anoop and Allison when Kris and Katy arrived. Adam knew Katy would come too, Kris had texted him that she wanted to go to Matt's party too and he couldn't do anything about it. Adam had send back that it was ok, that he had expected her to be there too...   
It still hurted him a little though, he finally saw Kris back but Katy would be always by his side so they wouldn't have a moment of privacy... Not that they would do anything! But Adam had hoped he could at least talk to Kris alone but he knew that would be impossible now...  
Kris and Katy made their way over to them, first wishing Matt a happy birthday and giving him his present, then they said hello to the others, giving everyone a hug. Kris' hug with Adam was longer then with the others, but everyone was used to that now. They didn't notice though that Kris gave a little kiss on Adam's neck while he nuzzled his face into it. Adam gave a little wink at Kris when they pulled away, nobody noticed that either...  
After a while, Adam sat down on one of the couches that Matt had placed at the side of the dancefloor. He had been up there for a while now and just needed a little rest. He looked over at Kris and Katy who were still on the dancefloor, Katy dancing so close to Kris that Adam had to look away... He just couldn't stand it anymore, Katy all over Kris' body and he couldn't do anything but to watch it...   
Suddenly Katy walked away from Kris to go to the toilet and Kris walked up to Adam, Adam tried to put his most convincing smile on his face when Kris placed himself next to him on the couch

" What a party huh? " Kris said a little out of breath

" Yeah, you can say that again " Adam said, still smiling at Kris, but Kris seemed to be able to look right through his mask 'cause suddenly he felt Kris' hand on his knee

" I'm sorry... " Kris almost whispered it but he knew Adam would hear it, Adam always heard everything he said

" It's ok... " Adam lay his hand on Kris' and squeezed it " I had just wanted to be alone with you for a while, but that seems impossible now... "

Kris didn't answer, his eyes were focused on the entrance... Was that? No, it couldn't be...

" Helloooooooooo?!? I'm talking to you here! " Adam waved his hand in front of Kris' face

Kris turned his face to Adam again " Drake... "

" No... It's Adam... " Adam looked a little confused " Can you say that? A-D-A-M " Adam pronounced each letter as if he was talking to a little kid, learning him how to talk

Kris rolled his eyes, took Adam's face in his hands and turned it so he could see the entrance " You see A-D-A-M...It's Drake! "

 

Adam's eyes widened and he gasped " What's he doing here? Who invited him? "

" I did " Katy had re-appeared from the bathroom and was standing next to Kris now

Kris looked up at her " Why did you do that? You knew Adam was gonne be here "

" Well, you know me and Drake get along pretty well, even since his break up with Adam we still kept in touch " she looked over at Adam " I just thought that you two could talk things out, be friends again... "

Adam wanted to say something back but Drake was already by his side, bending down to kiss him on the cheek

" Hey baby " Drake smiled then straightened himself again " Hey Kris, hey Katy " he shook Kris' hand and gave Katy a hug

Katy grabbed Kris' hands and pulled him off the couch " Come on honey, let's dance! " 

Kris couldn't do anything about it, Katy just dragged him to the dancefloor, away from Adam and Drake...   
Drake settled himself on the couch, next to Adam, laying his head on his shoulder. Adam could smell the alcohol as Drake breathed into his face

" You're drunk " Adam said angrily and moved away from Drake

" I'm not! " Drake sounded offended " I just had a couple of beers... " 

" More than a couple if you ask me... I'm going to the men's room, need to pee " Adam stood up but got stopped from walking away by Drake who grabbed his arm and held on to it

" Don't you dare walk away from me! " Drake hissed angrily and stood up too " I won't let you this time " 

Adam looked confused and a little scared at Drake, his arm hurt from the strong hold of Drake's hand on it " Let go of me Drake, you're hurting me " he tried to pull his arm out of Drake's hand but Drake only tightened his grip

" No I won't, I want you Adam, I want you really bad... " Drake's eyes darkened and he pushed Adam against the wall, he was smaller than Adam, but he was strong...

Adam was really getting scared now, he knew how strong Drake could be and how scary he could be when he lost his temper... Adam's eyes searched the room... Kris,where are you?

Drake moved closer and closer to Adam, their body's touched eachother right now and Drake started grinding up to Adam " You like this don't you? You always liked it when I took control for a change... "

" I did... But I don't right now, we're at a party Drake... "

" You never seemed to mind about that back when we were a couple... Party or not, I could do this anytime and you loved it! It always turned you on and we had hot steamy sex afterwards... "

" Drake, please... " Adam was starting to panic now " Let me go! We're not a couple anymore and there won't be any sex between us "

" That's what you think " Drake bent down and started to unbutton Adam's pants, Adam tried to stop him but Drake just slapped his hands away. When he had the button done, he opened the zipper and slowly pulled Adam's pants down when he was being pulled back roughly by two strong hands, he fell on his butt and looked up at the person who had pulled him away from Adam

" What the hell do you think you're doing?! "

Adam looked up from hearing the sound of that familiar voice... Kris!

Drake scrambled up from the floor " Trying to have some sex with my boy, what the hell are you doing? "

Kris looked furious " One, Adam isn't your boy anymore and it doesn't look to me like he wants to have sex with you and certainly not here, at Matt's birthdayparty. And two, I'm being a good friend to Adam by taking you away from him and throwing you out of this party " 

Drake laughed " You can't throw me out, this isn't your party and I was invited here by your wife! " 

" Maybe he can't, but I can! " Matt had showed up at Kris' side, Michael was standing next to him " Come on Sarver, let's show this partypooper where the exit is "

Matt and Michael grabbed Drake under his arms, dragged him to the exit door and threw him out. They laughed and gave eachother a highfive.  
Adam pulled his pants up with shaking hands, he looked over at Kris and saw the look of concern on his face, he smiled weakly 

" I guess that means no sex for me tonight... " he tried to joke but his voice was still unsteady

" No...I guess not... " Kris tried to smile but he was still too worried to make it look believable " Come on, I'll take you home " 

" But, Katy- " Adam tried to protest but Kris cut him off

" I'll come back for her later, she'll understand " Kris walked off to to the door and Adam followed close behind him

~~

The whole ride in the car went on in silence... Adam didn't wanna talk and Kris didn't know what to say so he stayed silent too.  
When they arrived at Adam's house Kris walked to the door with him and Adam invited him inside but Kris shook his head

" I'm gonna go and take Katy home first, then I'll come back "

" You don't have to come back, you can stay with Katy if you like... " Adam knew his voice still was unsteady and now also a little hurt 'cause he actually wanted Kris to stay with him 

Kris put his hand on Adam's shoulder, looking up into his eyes " I want to come back, I don't want you to be alone tonight... "

Adam looked surprised " What are you gonna tell Katy? "

Kris shrugged " I'll tell her the truth, that I'm staying over at your place 'cause I don't wanna leave you alone after what happened... She'll understand " he played with his carkeys " You gonna be ok while I'm gone? "

Adam smiled, Kris was so sweet... " Sure, I'll be fine... I'm just gonna watch some TV and go to bed I guess. Oh, wait a minute... " Adam grabbed something behind the door " Here, a spare key of the door so you can come in if I've fallen asleep by the time you come back... " 

Kris took the key and walked to his car, looking back one more time to see Adam closing the door behind him...

~~

When Kris came back at Adam's house, he used the key Adam had given him and walked inside.   
He found Adam sprawled down on the couch, sleeping...   
Kris smiled and bent down his knees beside the couch, he softly stroked his fingers through Adam's hair.  
Adam opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Kris sitting before him

" Kris! You came back... " 

" Ofcourse I came back... I told you I would, didn't I? " 

" Yeah, you did... " Adam took Kris' hand out of his hair, brought it to his mouth and kissed it softly " Thank you... "

Kris smiled at Adam, pulling himsef up from the ground " Come on, let's get you to bed " he held out his hand and pulled Adam up from the couch

Adam draped his arm around Kris' shoulder, Kris wrapped his arm around Adam's waist and like that they walked up the stairs into the bedroom...


	7. Chapter 7

When Kris woke up the next morning, he found himself wrapped up in Adam's arms, both completely naked. Adam was still asleep, so Kris kept himself as quiet and still as possible, thinking about what happened last night...  
It had been amazing! But, what did he have to do now? This would change everything...  
He closed his eyes and everything came back...

~~

What Happened That Night : 

 

Kris and Adam came into the bedroom, Adam went to the bathroom to wash his make-up off and when he came back, only dressed in his boxers, he saw Kris lying in his bed

" Oh, claiming my bed already? Liked it so much you're not even gonna bother to try and fall asleep on the couch first? " Adam teased Kris, walking up to the bed himself

" Yeah, I really liked your bed! And it looked like you didn't have any problem with sleeping on the couch, so I thought I could take the bed " Kris teased back 

Adam stopped in his tracks and walked back to the door " Ok, if that's what you want... I'll go sleep on the couch then... " his voice sounded soft and sad

Kris jumped up from the bed and grabbed Adam's arm, seeing the look of pain on Adam's face when he touched that arm, he quickly pulled it back and took his hand instead " I'm sorry, I don't want you to sleep on the couch... I thought we could both sleep on the bed, like last time..." 

Adam's eyes lit up in that playful spark " I was just teasing, I would love to sleep on the bed with you " he looked Kris up and down, he was standing only dressed in his boxers, nothing else " You look gorgeous... " he took a step forward and softly trailed his fingers up and down Kris' chest

Kris blushed, took Adam's hand off his chest and walked with him to the bed. He lay down and Adam lay himself next to him, they turned to lay on their side, facing eachother. Adam's hand was stroking up and down Kris' arm, sending shivers through Kris' body. They both looked in eachother's eyes and suddenly, he didn't even know why, Kris' body tensed ... He pulled Adam's hand of his arm, turned on his other side and moved away from Adam. Adam looked confused at him

" Kris... " Adam moved closer to him " What's wrong? " he gently draped his arm over Kris and when Kris didn't pull it off he let it rest there, moving closer and closer, now spooning him " Talk to me... " he whispered in Kris' ear and he could feel him shiver

" I... I don't know... " Kris hesitated, not knowing how he should say this " I'm just scared I guess... "

" Scared of what? " Adam sounded really concerned

" Scared of what's going to happen between us tonight... Scared of what will happen after that... " Kris laughed awkwardly " I'm just a big scaredy-cat I guess "

Adam smiled and placed a kiss behind Kris' ear " Nothing's going to happen between us tonight if you don't want it to happen " 

" But I want it to happen, I want it so bad... " Kris pushed his ass back against Adam's crotch, he could hear Adam stiffle a moan and he did it again and again...

" Kris... " Adam's voice hitched, it was low and husky now " Look at me... Turn around and look at me " 

Kris turned around and looked straight in Adam's eyes "Adam... " was the only thing he could say

" Are you sure you want this? It's not too late to back out... We can just cuddle and-" 

Kris broke Adam off by pushing his hard on against Adam's thigh " I'm sure, I've never been more sure of anything in my life before... " 

God, Adam couldn't take it anymore... He crashed his lips on Kris' and kissed him with all the passion that was burning inside him, Kris accepted willingly and gave back just as much, tongues swirling around, exploring eachothers mouth.   
Adam pushed Kris on his back and placed himself above him, still kissing and panting into eachothers mouth.  
They pull back, and one look into Kris' eyes tells Adam everything he needs to know...   
He slowly moves down, placing kisses all over Kris' torso as he does so. When he reached Kris' boxers, he gently pulls them off then he pulls of his own. He goes back and starts kissing Kris again, grinding his hips down on Kris, he feels Kris' hips coming upwards in return.   
Adam knows they won't going to last long so he breaks the kiss, Kris whimpers from the loss and Adam smiles at him

" Don't worry, you'll like what I'm gonna do next even more "

Adam gives one last kiss and goes down again, spreading Kris' legs, placing himself in between them. He reaches for the nightstand and pulls the drawer open, he takes the lube and a condom. He poured some lube on his one hand, with the other he held up Kris' ass to get a better entrance. Slowly, he put one finger in Kris' hole, feeling Kris' relax he put in a second one and short after that a third. He heard Kris hiss and moan softly as he found his prostate, so he made sure to hit that spot every time he pushed his fingers back in.  
Kris lifted his head up, sweat already dripping from his forehead, Adam smiled lovingly at him

" You still ok? "

" Y-Yeah... " Kris stuttered " I think I'm in heaven... "

Adam laughed " Not yet baby, but you will be soon... " 

" Not gonna last long... " Kris panted as he let his head fall back on the pillow

Adam pulled his fingers out, he opened the condom and put it on his dick, then he lubed him up. He placed Kris' legs on his shoulders and moved a little to get a better angle to get into Kris' hole. When he found the right angle, he slowly pushed his dick in all the way...   
Kris cursed and moaned, Adam pulled back to halfway his dick, then pushed back in, Kris moaned even more.   
After a few thrusts of Adam's dick, Kris really fell apart...  
Hearing Kris' load moan of his name, Adam fell apart too and came inside Kris...   
After having his breathing and trembling back under control, he pulled himself out Kris, pulled the condom off and threw it away. Then he got off the bed, walked into the bathroom and came back with a washcloth, he walked over to the bed and cleaned Kris' belly, then he threw the washcloth on the floor.  
Kris was still laying with his eyes closed as Adam lay down beside him again, he opened his eyes and smiled at him

" Seems like you did get sex after all " he winked playfully at Adam

Adam laughed " Yeah I did " he petted Kris' hair lovingly " Probably the best sex I ever had... With the only person I ever wanted so bad in a long time... " 

Kris smiled and turned on his side, facing Adam, Adam did the same. Kris cuddled up in Adam's arms and just like that, they fell asleep...

~~

Kris opened his eyes and looked up to see Adam looking down at him, big smile on his face, Kris smiled back

" Goodmorning sleepyhead! " Adam ruffled his hand through Kris' hair

" I wasn't sleeping, I was thinking... "

Adam looked questioningly at Kris " About what? " 

" About last night... " 

" Oh " Adam moved a little backwards, away from Kris " You're not having regrets about it, are you? " 

Kris looked surprised, he moved closer to Adam again and looked into his eyes " No! Ofcourse I'm not having regrets about it! "

Adam let out a breath of relief and wrapped his arms around Kris again 

" It's just, Katy... " 

" I know... You have to go back to her and tell her what happened... I know it will be hard but- "

" No, it's not that " Kris cut him off " Well, I know I have to tell her what happened, but... "

Adam got a little concerned now " What's wrong? You know you can tell me... "

" I don't wanna go back to her right now " 

" What? " Adam's concernedness turned into surprise " Why? " 

" We... We had a fight last night when I brought her home from Matt's party... " Kris' hands were laying on Adam's chest now and he slowly stroked them up and down

Adam sighed " About Drake... " he lifted Kris' head up, 'cause he saw him staring at his chest, and looked into his eyes " You didn't have to..."

" Yes I had! " Kris' voice sounded a little angry " Why the hell did she invited him? She knew you were gonna be there. She said she didn't know Drake would be drunk and wanted to rape you, and I believe that, but still... " 

" You think she suspects something? " 

" Maybe... " Kris sighed " I don't know Adam, I just think she invited Drake so she could keep me at her side the whole evening... She knows how happy I was when I knew I would see you again and I think she got jealous and wanted to do something about that, so she invited Drake to keep you company... Turned out a whole other way than she expected I guess... " 

" Hmm..." Adam held Kris a little tighter, he knew this was hard for him " What did she say about that? " 

" Nothing... She told me I'm seeing ghosts, that she's not jealous at all... I don't believe her... I can see it in the way she looks at me when I talk about you, it's the same look you give me when I talk about her to you... She's jealous, Really jealous... " 

" I didn't know I gave you a look when you talk about Katy " 

" Oh believe me, you do " when Kris saw the sad look on Adam's face he lifted his head up and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek " It's ok, I always thought it was cute, I love seeing you a little jealous " he winked at Adam

Adam smiled weakly " So, what now? What are you gonna do? "

" I'm gonna go to her, arrange some dinner at a restaurant or something and I'm gonna tell her " Kris sounded determined 

" That's good... " Adam knew something else was gonna come out of Kris' mouth and he wasn't gonna like it... He braced himself

" Adam I... " Kris choked on his words a little " I do still love Katy, although I'm pissed off at her right now, I still love her... "

There you go, Adam thought " I know... " he stroked his hand in circles on Kris' lower back

" I'm scared " tears were standing in his eyes " I'm confused and I'm scared.... "

" Shhhh " Adam tried to sooth Kris " It's ok to be confused, I would be too if I was in your place... But you don't have to be scared, I'm here for you... Everything will be alright... " 

Kris looked up into Adam's eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks " I love you " his voice broke and he burried his head in Adam's chest

Adam wrapped his arms tight around Kris, squeezing him softly " I love you too, just remember that.... No matter what happens next, I'll always be there for you... " 

They were laying there, wrapped up in eachothers arms... Both crying, both broken into pieces...   
Both so in love...


	8. Chapter 8

When Kris got home that day, Katy was waiting for him. He didn't have to arrange dinner for them to talk 'cause Katy wanted to do the talk right now. Things got pretty ugly between them when he told her he had slept with Adam, and finally, she made him choose...

" I have enough of this Kris! It's always Adam,Adam, Adam... It's like you're married to him instead of me. And now you're telling me you slept with him? I can't take this anymore... "

" I'm sorry Katy, I really am... I still love you... "

" Not enough apparently... If you really loved me you wouldn't have slept with Adam! Be honest Kris, who do you love more? Me or him? " Katy looked straight into Kris' eyes

"I... I don't know... " Kris turned his face to the ground, he couldn't look into Katy's eyes anymore, he just couldn't stand it " I'm really messed up right now... "

Katy shook her head a little " Go and figure out who you want Kris... You'll have to choose 'cause I'm not sharing you with him "

" You're throwing me out? " Kris looked shocked at Katy

" Temporarily yes... You're free to come back when you've made your choice, but for now I can't stand living under the same roof with you... "  
Katy turned away from Kris and walked outside into the garden

Kris got tears in his eyes, this is it, he thought as he went upstairs to pack his bags. What did he have to do now? Where could he go? Well, there was One place he could go...   
He gabbed his phone and pressed speed-dial number 1, he was greeted by the warm all-too-familiar voice

" Hey baby, what's up? " 

" Katy kicked me out... " 

" What?!? " Adam almost choked " Has she lost her mind? Where are you? " 

" Still at home, packing my bags... Can I, uhm... Can I come over? " 

" Sure! Do you even have to ask me that? I'm not home right now, but you still have the spare key, I'll hury back as soon as I can! " 

" Ok, I'll see you then... " Kris fell silent for a minute and 'cause Adam also didn't say anything he hang up the phone after a soft and shaky " Thank you... " 

~~

When Adam came home he found Kris sitting on the couch, staring at some picture, when he came closer he saw it was a picture of him... He smiled and put his hand on Kris' shoulder, Kris startled but smiled at him as he turned his head

" Drooling on a picture of me are you? " Adam said playfully

" I'm not drooling! I'm not giving you such a huge ego stroke " Kris laughed as Adam pouted a little " You know... " he stood up and went to the back of the couch where Adam stood " I've always kept this picture of you in my wallet, when I missed you too much or when I had a bad day, I always took it out of my wallet and just stared at it and it made me feel like you were right there with me. I know it doesn't make sense, but it always made me feel a little better when I was on tour, just to look at that smiling face of yours, evrything seemed to fall into place again... " Kris chuckled " Sounds like I'm a little crazy doesn't it? " 

Adam chuckled too and wrapped his arms around Kris' waist " You are a little crazy yeah, but I love it... I love everything about you " he bend his neck down a little and gave Kris a little peck on his mouth, then he pulled him to his chest. When he looked behind Kris' back he saw his bags still standing against the wall " Why didn't you move your bags upstairs? I still have place in my closet for your clothes, you knew you could just unpack in my room while I wasn't home yet "

" Yeah, I know... " Kris pulled away from the hug and put Adam's picture back in his wallet " I'm not staying "

" You aren't? " Adam looked confused at him " I thought you said-" 

" Katy kicked me out, yes... " Kris broke Adam off " But I can't stay here either " he lifted Adam's face, who was looking sadly at the ground by now, up and looked into his eyes... Trying hard not to melt away... " I need some time alone... At a place where no one knows me and no one will bother me. I've told the management I needed a vacation, they aren't happy with it, but they know they can't stop me " he rested his forehead against Adam's " I came to say goodbye to you... " 

Adam felt tears coming up " Why? I thought you would stay with me, and now you're saying goodbye? I don't understand... " he saw the pain in Kris' eyes and swallowed hard to get the lump out of his throat " I know, you need time to think... But don't say goodbye just yet, it will only break my heart even more... " he pulled his head and his hands back, walking over to Kris' bags and picking them up "Come on, I'll bring you to wherever you want. I guess to the airport? " 

" Yeah... I thought about calling a cab... " 

" No way! " Adam shook his head " I'm taking you there, it's the least I can do.Plus, I'm not ready to let you go yet... " 

" Ok, you can take me there... Just try to not make a scene when we say goodbye there " he walked up to the door, opened it and hold it open to let Adam walk out with his bags

" Me? Make a scene? Never! " 

They both were laughing as they walked up to Adam's car, leaving Kris' car standing on it's usual spot.   
The drive to the airport went on normally, the two of them just singing along to the songs on the radio, as if nothing was wrong... 

~~

When Kris was checking in, ready to get into his plane Adam came running after him,screaming his name, he stopped ant turned around

" Adam, what did I tell you about making a scene? " he tried to look angry but he couldn't hold back his laugh, this was such an Adam-like thing to do...

" I'm sorry, I just... " Adam shuffled his feet nervously " Please, don't go... " he looked into Kris' eyes pleadingly

Kris sighed, dropped his bags to the ground and wrapped his arms around Adam " I have to... But I'll be back, don't worry... " 

" When? " Adam whispered

" I don't know yet... I'll let you know when I do " he leaned up on his tiptoes and pressed his lips against Adam's, he felt tears rolling down his cheeks so he pulled back a little, wiping away Adam's tears with his thumbs " Don't cry Adam, I won't be gone forever... " he smiled " Now you'll have to go back home and spend another hour in the bathroom to fix your make-up again "

Adam laughed a little, it was only half-heartedly " You're worth it... You're worth every single tear I cry "

Kris' heart broke and he burried his face into Adam's chest.   
Suddenly he felt a soft knock on his shoulder, it was a stewardess, telling him he should get on the plane if he still wanted to. Kris nodded, kissed Adam one more time, picked up his bags and walked up to the plane.   
He looked around one more time, seeing Adam standing there, rooted on the spot where he left him...   
' I love you ' he mouthed, knowing Adam probably couldn't see it, he turned his head around again and with tears in his eyes he left L.A., not knowing when he would return...  
Maybe he would never return at all...


	9. Chapter 9

  
A/N : I think it's obvious, but the lines in _italic_ are Adam's thoughts, and the last 2 are Kris' thoughts   
  
A month and a half had gone by and Adam still hadn't heard from Kris. He didn't call or text him either 'cause he knew Kris wanted time for himself and he wanted to respect his wish to be left alone. He knew Kris would call him sooner or later... Or at least he hoped he would...  
Suddenly he heard the doorbell, when he opened the door he couldn't believe who he saw...  
  
" Katy? What are You doing here? "  
  
" Hey Adam, can I come in? " Katy was already walking in without even waiting for Adam's answer  
  
" Uhm, sure... Come in, make yourself  at home! "  Adam rolled his eyes, closed the door and walked after Katy  
  
" Heard from Kris lately? " Katy placed herself on the couch, looking almost mockingly at Adam  
  
" No, I haven't... " Adam's heart gave a painful twitch " Have you? "  
  
" As a matter of fact, I have " Katy smiled proudly at him " He called me a couple of days ago "  
  
" That's good for you...  " _Why does this hurt so bad?_ " How is he? "  
  
" He's great! I think he'll be back soon " she looked at Adam with a piercing look " Who do you think he'll choose? You, the one night stand... Or me, his loving wife with whom he has spent most of his life with... "  
  
" I'm not just a one night stand! " Adam looked furious at Katy, how did she dare to say that?  _Is that what I really am to him? Just a one night stand?_  
  
" You really believe that? You actually think you mean something to him? " Katy laughed almost maniacally " Oh Adam, you're so naive... Kris just used you. He felt a little lonely 'cause he didn't see me much anymore, him being on tour and me having to work so I couldn't come watch his show, he missed some intimacy so he used you to get that...And you just fell for it how stupid is That? "  
  
Adam clenched his fists, holding back his tears... _I'm not going to cry...Not while she sees it!  "_ I don't believe you Katy! Kris would never use somebody! That You, of all the people in the world, thinks that little of Kris... What kind of a wife are you? Kris deserves much better than this, he deserves much better than you "  
  
Katy just smirked at him " You still believe in fairy tales, don't you? He'll come back to me Adam, you'll see... "  Katy stood up and without even looking at Adam she walked out of the house  
  
Adam broke down on the couch, with his head in his hand, just letting the tears flow...  
  
Suddenly his phone rang with the sound of 'Falling Slowly'... _Kris..._  
  
" Hello? " Adam's voice sounded hoarse  
  
" Adam? What's wrong? "  
  
 _That's Kris for you, he always know when something's wrong with me..._ Adam decided to just get it out in the open " Katy came to see me... "  
  
" Oh... "  
  
 _Oh_ , _that's all he has to say?_ " Why haven' t you called me? You did call her, then why couldn't you call me? Just one little phonecall Kris, even a text would be enough, just to let me know how you were doing... But what did I get? Nothing! I guess you made your choice... " _there are those fucking tears again, damn it!_  
  
" Adam... " Kris voice broke a little " I didn't call her, she called me... You're the first person I've called since I left L.A. Please Adam, you have to believe me! "  
  
 _Kris sounds so sincere..._ " Fine, I believe you on that one. But there's more... She told me I was just a one night stand to you.. " _Please tell me that isn't true, I need to hear it from you..._  
  
Kris sighed " Oh,Adam... " now He had to fight his tears " Listen, we'll talk about it when I get home ok? I'm getting on my plane right now so I'll have to hang up the phone. I'll come by your house when I've arrived in L.A. and we'll talk "  
  
 _He didn't say it, he didn't say I'm not just a one night stand...Fuck! Quit crying Adam!_   " Ok..."  _If I don't throw you out again..._

_He's crying again...Damn it! "_ Ok then... I missed you Adam, I really did... " _Please, don't give up your faith in me..._

Adam swallowed " I missed you too... "

They both hang up the phone...  
Both started crying...  
None of them knew what would happen next...  
Was Adam just a one night stand like Katy told him and was he just used by Kris?  
Has Adam lost his faith in Kris and will he just show him the door if he shows up at his place?  
They didn't know, but they were about to find out soon enough...


	10. Chapter 10

When Adam heard his doorbell that evening, he knew exactly who it would be... He shuffled to the door and opened it just a little,Kris wasn't alone... He was ready to slam the door shut again when Kris' hand came on the door, holding it open

" Please, don't tell me to go... " Kris sounded hurt and almost pleading

Adam just held the door in place, making sure Kris wouldn't open it further " What's She doing here? " he nudged his head at the person standing behind Kris, it was Katy...

" She wants to tell you something " Kris looked over his shoulder at Katy " Don't you, sweetheart? " the sweetheart didn't came out lovingly as it used to be, it was more with a sarcastic smirk

" Only if he's so kind to let us in his house " Katy smirked back, glaring at Adam

" Fine, come in... " Adam opened the door and Kris walked in, Katy trailing behind him

They went to the living room and placed them on the couches. Kris sat next to Adam, Katy sat on the couch in front of them. Kris looked at Katy with a look to tell her to get on with it. Katy sighed and turned her head to the ground, she couldn't look at the two guys before her, especially not at Adam

" I lied about you being just a one night stand to Kris... When I called Kris, I wanted to know who he had chosen, he didn't want to say it through the phone at first... But I didn't give up and he finally just blurted it out... It wasn't me who he wanted... " Katy finally looked up, straight at Adam, tears stuck in the corner of her eyes " When I heard that, I freaked out, and not in a good way... I couldn't accept it! Kris was mine, and only mine to keep... Then I thought, there's one more chance to get him back... I tried to put you against him... Making you hate Kris so much you never wanted to see him again. Then Kris would come back to me, heartbroken, but it would heal, I knew I could heal it... " she wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek " But maybe I was wrong, 'cause now I think I could never heal his heart again... Losing Me would give him a little heartache, losing You would kill him... " she stood up from the couch, walking up to Adam, bending down to give him a short hug, then she pulled away again " He's yours now, and only yours to keep... Take good care of him. He's a special guy Adam, I hope you realize that... "

Adam was just staring at her, mouth wide open. When Kris touched his hand, he knew he had to say something back to Katy, he cleared his throat 'cause it was sore from all the emotions going through him 

" I do... I do realize it... Don't worry, I'll take care of him... And I will never let him go... "

Katy smiled and nodded her head " I think I'll go home then... You guys don't need me here anymore " she bend down to give Kris a hug too, then she pulled away and walked back to the door, looking over her shoulder " Don't worry, I'll find my way out " then she walked away, closing the door behind her

Adam couldn't speak, couldn't move, he was just staring at the couch where Katy had been sitting on minutes ago.   
Kris moved closer to Adam, laying his hand on Adam's knee. When Adam felt Kris' hand, he turned his head to him

" I...I don't know what to say " Adam swallowed the lump in his throat and continued " I never thought you would choose me... I hoped it, yes... But this... This feels like a dream... Tell me this isn't just a dream, that I'm not gonna wake up in a few minutes and you'll be gone... Still together with Katy, and I would be a broken hearted mess... " he looked into Kris' eyes, trying to find security that this was real

Kris smiled at Adam " This isn't a dream sweetie... It's real, I'm real! I'm here and I'm not going anywhere " he lifted his hand and softly stroked Adam's cheek " I have something for you... "

Kris stood up and walked behind the couch, right behind Adam, he pulled something out of his pocket " Close your eyes " he whispered in Adam's ear. When he was sure Adam had closed his eyes, he draped the necklace around Adam's neck and closed it behind, then he went back to stand in front of Adam " You can open your eyes now " Kris looked anxiously at Adam, afraid of his reaction

When Adam opened his eyes he imediately looked down at his neck, seeing the little heart bungling on the necklace, he took it in his hand to take a closer look, he saw a little 'K' carved in the middle of the heart. He held it in his hand while he looked up into Kris' eyes " It's beautiful... Simple, but absolutely gorgeous... Just like you... " 

" You're calling me simple? " Kris faked an offended look and Adam slapped his arm, Kris smiled " I know what you mean... Here, look " he pulled his necklace from under his shirt and went closer to Adam's face so he could see the little 'A' carved in the heart " I bought these in the first week I was away and have been wearing mine ever since " he went closer and closer to Adam's face, lips almost touching eachother " I guess I already knew I would choose you when I bought these... I just needed to be sure... This necklace is like a piece of you that's always with me, and now you have a piece of me with you too...You belong to me Adam, like I belong to you... " he felt Adam move forward and their lips collided

Adam pulled away again " Now it's time for us to show the world to who we belong! "

Kris looked curiously at Adam " How exactly are we going to do that? " 

Adam's face lit up into a wide smile and that little spark in his eyes looked like it was almost on fire " Oh, I know exactly how! " he grabbed his phone and dialed a number " Perez? Yes, it's Adam Lambert. Roll out the red carpet honey, I'm going to reveal my new boyfriend! Yes, it is true... I'm not joking! Ok? Great! I'll see you tomorrow, byebye now! " 

Kris looked shocked at Adam " What the hell? " 

Adam smiled happily " Well I had an interrview with him tomorrow at the studio, now he will probably send out the word that I'm gonna reveal my boyfriend and there will be a huge crowd, but I think it's the perfect way of showing the world that we're together! " the smile fell from his face as he saw the weird stunned look on Kris' face " Am I going too fast with this? " 

" No... " Kris stepped closer to Adam, pulling him up from the couch " You kind of turned me on " he looked into Adam's eyes with a wicked smile on his face

" Oh " Adam smiled back just as wicked " Bedroom? "

Kris leaned up and placed a quick kiss on Adam's lips " You were always good in reading my mind " 

~~

The next day when they drove to the studio in the limo Perez had sent for them, they were greeted by a huge crowd, just as Adam expected. Adam laughed a little when he saw the red carpet, he'd just said it as a joke but hey, he loved it anyways!   
When the car stopped they could hear a reporter talking excitedly 

" Adam Lambert has arrived ladies and gentleman! I'm very excited to see who his new boyfriend will be... There have been rumors of him being together with Brad again, but I don't believe that actually... Well anyway, we will find out soon who it is! " 

Adam looked over at Kris who looked really nervous, Adam placed his hand on his knee " Feeling nervous? "

Kris looked at him and smiled shyly " Yeah, a little... " 

" Don't worry, you'll be fine... I'm here with you, so nothing can happen to you " he kissed Kris on the cheek " I'll go out first " then he stepped out of the car, smiling brightly, waving at his fans

" Adam Lambert has stepped out of the car! Now we just have to wait for his boyfriend... Oh, he's holding out his hand in front of the car door and someone takes it! It's... It's... OH.MY.GOD! " the reporter gasped " I don't believe it! It's Kris Allen!!! The crowd goes wild! This is unbelievable! "

Kris and Adam walked over the red carpet hand in hand, waving and smiling at their fans, stopping sometimess when they wanted to take a picture or if they had to sign an autograph.   
Then they came to the reporter, placing themselves in front of the camera, look of love clearly on their faces

" Adam, this is really unbelievable! You and Kris together as a couple? " 

" Yeah it is a bit hard to believe isn't it? " Adam smiled as Kris pinched his arm lovingly " It still feels like a bit of a dream to me... " he looked at Kris with nothing but love in his eyes " This is the boy I wanted so much for so long... But this is also the boy I thought I could never get..." Adam sighed " I thought I never had a chance... He was married, he was straight... I had already given up all of my hope... " he smiled as Kris wrapped his arm around his waist " But a simple letter from me, brought to him by fate, made everything change... I love this guy so fucking much... No one can ever tear us apart " 

" Kris, what do you have to say to this? "

" Well, I'll have to say that I'm glad Someone posted that letter, 'cause my loverboy over here was too much of a chicken to post it himself " Kris laughed as Adam stick his tongue out at him " I love him, I really do... He made me see the world from a different point of view. He's amazing, he really is! He's everything I ever wanted... And now I finally have him, I'm never letting go " 

Adam softly kissed Kris' on the mouth, greeted by lots of 'oooooh's' and 'aaaaah's ' from the crowd and even from the reporter.   
They pulled back, both with tears stuck in their eyes. 

" One last thing you want to say to your fans out here? " 

" Yeah, absolutely! Thank you all for being here and for all the support you're giving me. One more thing, Kradam is... " Adam unconsciously lifted his hand and held the little heart on the necklace in his hand

Kris did the same as Adam, also unconsciously as he leaned forward to speak into the microphone " Very Real... " 

Then they walked of, Kris' arm still around Adam's waist, Adam's arm draped around Kris' shoulder  
They were happy, the fans were happy, life couldn't get any better than this... 

As Adam had to leave Kris to go to the interview he pulled him into a hug " Thank you for loving me... " he whispered softly against' Kris' ear

" No " Kris whispered back " Thank You for never losing your faith in me... " he pulled away from the hug a little to look up in Adam's eyes 

" Do you believe in destiny? " Adam asked a little anxiously

" I do now.... " Kris smiled up at the love of his life " I believe we were destined to be together... "


End file.
